TheaterSluts

Theater Sluts! I am the living embodiment of the phrase, “you can never have too much of a good thing.” I live on the limits of how many times a guy can bust a nut a day, and it never gets old. Whether I’m jerking off or fucking bitches, each orgasm comes to me as if I’ve never had one before.

The amount of orgasms I have in a day isn’t the only way I pack a lot of sexual pleasure into a small amount of time. Group sex helps also. The way I see it, there are never enough bitches in my bed. Do you know what's better than fucking a million bitches at once? Fucking a million and one bitches at once. 

Intrusive Reality

You guy’s probably don’t even dream about group sex anymore. The idea of having sex with one woman is so far from the realms of possibility that your brain can’t fathom what two, three, four, or a hundred bitches could feel like. Your brain has no foundation to build that fantasy from.

I, too, no longer dream about group sex. My experience is slightly different, though. You see, my brain has experienced so much group sex that I don’t have to dream about it. What's the point of dreaming about something I plan on waking up to? My morning group sex sessions are legendary. (At least amongst my neighbors.)

How I wish you guys could live like me for a day. You would spend the rest of your life reliving that twenty-four-hour period over and over again. Unfortunately, I can't make that happen, but I can point you toward a site that might allow you to fantasize about group sex again. That site is called Theater Sluts

What makes Theater Sluts special is the realism. It portrays a situation that could actually happen to my readers. You'll be able to put yourself in the shoes of the men on screen as you could never do with Mandingo or Johnny Sins.

Based on the name, I first thought the site would be about theater kids. Anyone who was a theater kid or was friends with them knows that theater kids fuck. They are the only type of nerd that regularly gets pussy. There should be way more porn sites based around them.

However, that's not what Theater Sluts is all about. Instead, it follows around a guy named Dirty D as he takes bitches to porn theaters so they can be fucked by the entire audience. That is some ultimate whore shit.

Now you see what I mean. I know that many of my readers still frequent porn theaters. Usually, the only way to get a blow job in one is to ask the guy next to you, but on Theater sluts Dirty D brings enough P to share.

This isn't some fake bullshit either. Just look at the guys in the videos. They aren't porn stars. They aren't even guys that have sex. They are men like you fucks. They're ugly sexless losers with nothing better to do on a Friday night than sit in a dark porn theater waiting to die.

Theater Sluts isn't going to win a web design contest anytime soon. The site is optimized for mobile usage, so when you visit on a computer, the content is bordered by large blank spaces.

What isn't blank has a look straight out of the 2010s. I don't think this place has been revamped since it first opened. However, it still works like a charm.

Theater Sluts is a paid premium porn site. That makes complete sense considering what Dirty D is asking these bitches to do. No one knows the perverted male mind as I do. Were I a young woman, I'd rather die a slow and painful death than let a porn theater full of sweaty failures fuck my pussy. I hope these cunts are getting paid. 

Theater Sluts offers two membership levels for possible subscribers to choose from. The first is a thirty-day membership for $29.95. I don't know about you, but thirty bucks is a bit expensive for me. It's not that I couldn't afford it. It's that I subscribe to a million fucking porn sites, so I can't be adding to that number without thought.

That's why I went with the second membership option, a four-month subscription for only $99.95. I have to save every dollar I can so I can spend it on more porn.

Getting Staph Fucking Staff

Now that you have all the details let's look at some of the content residing on Theater Sluts, starting with "Celeste." Celeste loves getting tattoos, and Despite being young, she has plenty already.

Celeste has asked Dirty D to give her the Theater Slut treatment, but before he does, he wants her to get a tattoo for him. She enthusiastically agrees, and they go to a tattoo parlor adjacent to a porn theater.

Celeste ops for a tat just above her pussy that says, "Dirty D turned me out on TheaterSluts.com." Holy fuck. I'm not going to lie. Very few things will stop me mid-sex, but looking down and seeing that tat would do it. While I love fucking sluts, I have to draw the line somewhere, or my cock will end up looking like Chornobyl.

Once her tat is completed, Dirty takes her next door and barges into the porn theater while "Tight Teen Naturals 43" plays on screen. The two walk to the front of the room, and Celeste gets to doing what she does best. Blowing ugly dudes cocks.

As the audience watches Celeste, they slowly migrate to the front and begin fondling her ass, tits, and pussy. Pretty soon, Celeste is riding Dirty D's dick while blowing a line of dudes a dozen people long. Eventually, dirty busts a fat nut in celestes mouth and stands back to watch the theater descend on her pussy like a pack of feral dogs onto an abandoned cat carcass.

Celeste takes her time making sure every guy in the theater gets the chance to fuck her pussy and bust a nut in her mouth. By the time she's done, Celeste is covered in the cum of dozens of strangers.

I'm not one to concern myself with the fate of sluts, but I'm curious what the next few days and possibly months were like for Celeste. She just fucked thirty or so strangers with an open wound above her pussy. There is no way that's not getting gangrenous. I could almost see the staph infection starting to fester in real-time. I wouldn't be surprised if this bitch had to have her legs amputated.

Young, Dumb, and Cummed

Next up, we have Amber. Dirty D loves corrupting the world's youth. That's why he was so excited when eighteen-year-old Amber showed interest in being gang fucked. Something tells me that Amber had no idea what she was getting herself into. 

Dirty D brings Amber up to the front row and sits her down to begin removing her clothing. Immediately every man in the theater comes down to get a better view. Once naked, Amber pulls out Dirty D's cock and starts sloppily sucking it. It's clear that while this isn't her first blow job, she is only eighteen and doesn't have much cock sucking experience.

While she is working on D's dirty dick, the rest of the crowd fondles and gropes every inch of Amber's young, firm body. These fat old fucks haven't felt the shaved pussy and perky tits of a sexy teen in thirty years. Several of them cum at the very sight of her. I bet the ones that did are readers of mine.

The guys who manage to hold on to their loads are rewarded with a blow job from Amber while she rides Dirty D's manhood. Eventually, Dirty starts tagging in audience members to get a taste of Amber's pussy also. Of course, no one says no.

After the theater has their fun with her pussy, Dirty D gets back in the game and drills into Amber's asshole like he is re-digging the chunnel. After a few minutes, he cream pies her anus and watches the cum slowly seep out of her crack. The only thing left for Amber to do now is let thirty dudes bust nuts in her mouth.

Theater Sluts is something special. Dirty D must have his doctorate in phycology. Otherwise, I have no idea how he convinces these bitches to gang bang a porn theater full of lonely, ugly old men.

One suggestion I would give to Dirty D is to update his web design. Otherwise, you just keep doing you, my man.

I bet you guys are going to start spending all of your free time in seedy porn theaters hoping Dirty D shows up with one of his sluts. That's what I would do if I were you.