Doctor Tampa

No one likes going to the hospital. There are long wait times, everyone is sick, you're surrounded by human suffering, it's expensive if you live in a shit hole country, and you're probably in pain. Furthermore, the staff is overworked, there are never enough nurses, and it smells—all in all, not anyone's favorite place to be.

However, women are attracted to competent men with smarts and power, so while the hospital isn't the most romantic place in the world, ladies love doctors. They have money, can protect a bitch, and have a high societal standing. If doctors wanted, they could probably get away with fucking a patient a day.

An Asshole a Day Keeps the Doctor Erect

The problem with being a doctor is that it takes a lot of time and effort. I don't have twelve years to blow before ladies will blow me. Plus, the hours are garbage. Will I even have time to get a blow job? I'm not doing this shit to help people, god damnit. I'm doing it for the pussy, for fucks sake.

Is there a way I could reap all the benefits of being a doctor without putting any of the effort in? That's far more my style, and there is a way indeed. I could open my own fake doctor's office. But you can't just open a fake medical clinic willy-nilly. You have to be smart about it.

First off, this is the kind of thing you can only get away with in a place where the medical system is in shambles, oversight is paid off, and people have been convinced by drug commercials that they know what's best for their health. AKA, the system is retarded, the oversight is retarded, and the people are retarded.

Where could a place like that be? Where in the world could the system and the people bound by it be so fucking stupid that they wouldn't bother to check the credentials of a new medical office. MMMmmmmmm. Wait a minute! I got it! Fucking Florida! It's absolute chaos in that bitch. A fake doctor diddling patients is the least of their worries. 

Alright, we have that figured out. But where in Florida? It needs to be big enough to have a decent population while also being a complete shit hole. Hold on. Once again, I've figured it out. Tampa. Tampa is probably the best place on Earth to pull this off, and it's only kind of third-worldy.

That's why it's no surprise that the website Doctor-Tampa exists and is porn instead of a medical resource. Doctor Tampa's content all takes place at a fake hospital where bitches have all manner of terrible things done to their bodies. If I were a bitch, I'd stay as far away from Florida as I could.

The web design on Doctor Tampa reminds me of an actual hospital website as it looks a bit basic and aged but still works well. Hospitals aren't going to waste money that they don't have building a nice website.

The main menu rests at the top of the site and includes the options Home, Updates, Models, Photos, Videos, Movie series, Doctor Tampa's Network, Become a, Support, Members, Join now, and Search bar.

Doctor Tampa is part of a network that includes Captive clinic, Girls Gone Gyno, Suck the Police, and Hitachi Hoes. If you enjoy the content here, you'll definitely love his whole network.

If jerking off to Doctor Tampa isn't enough for you, and you want in on the action, check out the "Become A" menu options. He is always looking for Loyal staff members, Movie directors, Off camera patients, On camera patients, and Website affiliates.

You might be wondering what an off-camera patient is. Doctor Tampa works with medical fetishists off camera who simply want to play without the camera on. I'm not going to lie. I'm shocked anyone takes him up on that, but apparently, twelve people did last year alone—no word on if they lived to tell the tale.

Medical Bills

Because Doctor Tampa isn't an actual doctor, he isn't getting a doctor's pay for his "exams." That means money has to come from somewhere, so Doctor Tampa is a paid premium porn site. However, he is flexible and offers five different membership options so people can select what best fits their needs.

Those that want to know more before buying in can enjoy a two-day trial period for $7.99. After the two days, you will automatically be switched to the monthly membership for $29.99, which will recur every month.

If you want a full-month membership but don't want it to renew automatically, you can select the one-month non-recurring for $39.99. This is by far the most expensive option, so I don't suggest it.

For those thinking about the future, Doctor Tampa offers a three-month membership for the same $29.99 a month as the recurring one month. It's certainly cheaper than $39.99, but still not the way to go.

If you ask me, the only option worth selecting is the half-year membership for $119.94, which breaks down to $19.99 a month. That is a price I can get down with.

Dr. Strangecum

With the numbers crunched, let's peek in on some of the content inhabiting Doctor Tampa, starting with "Don't Take Rides From Strangers - Rebel Wyatt - Part One of Five - Doctor Tampa's Point of View."

Rebel Wyatt was getting a ride home from a friend when an argument led the friend to kick Rebel out of the car on a dark and desolate road in the middle of nowhere. This was terrifying, and Rebel had no idea what her next move should be.

While scrambling in her head to come up with a good idea, she sees a car approaching from afar. In a panic, she flags down the vehicle and explains her situation. The guy in the car agrees to give her a ride, but only if she puts on a mask first. Rebel does so, but when she puts the mask on, it smells funny, and before she knows it, she passes out.

As fucked up as that may be, I have to give the Doctor credit on the drugged mask idea. That's a work of simple genius. It almost makes me want to kidnap someone just so I can drug their mask and feel like a master criminal.

When Rebel regains consciousness, she finds herself in what appears to be a medical examiner's office. Did the car she was in crash? As her eyes adjusted, it became clear that this wasn't a hospital. It looked too hood to be a real hospital. Plus, she is still in her street clothes.

Rebel moves to sit up only to discover that she is restrained to the bed by handcuffs and a leather belt. Even worse, she has a choker around her neck attached to a hook in the ceiling. That couldn't be a good sign.

Rebel starts to test her bonds in an attempt to escape, but before she can wriggle loose, a masked doctor comes into the room. Between his surgical gown, cap, mask, gloves, and reflective face shield, Rebel can't see his face at all.

Without a word, the Doctor strips her naked and straps her to an exam table. Now things are about to get fucking interesting.

The Return of Pussy Hysteria

Next up, let's look at "Sexual Deviance Disorder - Raya Nguyen - Part One of Twelve - Doctor Tampa's Point of View."

The theme of the Sexual Deviance Disorder series is a reimagining of the old 1800s-era disease "hysteria." Hysteria was complete bull shit and was really just normal female sexual function. In the 1800s, men were so lazy and incompetent in bed that they just gave up and decided that sex shouldn't feel good for women. 

Docter Tampa played the long-con for this series. He has convinced the gullible people of Florida that there is a plague of Sexual Deviance Disorder going around. All he had to do was tell Florida that God was punishing them for letting gays get married, and they asked no further questions.

He even got the courts involved, and now he has a steady stream of sexy young teens flowing into his office for "examinations." No one will ever believe them when they claim that treatment involves a ride on the Doctors penis.

Doctor Tampa couldn't get away with shit just anywhere, and he found the perfect location in Florida. The things this guy considers treatment seem utterly unrelated to the healing process, but who gives a shit? Keep dicking down these sick bitches, and I'll keep watching.

My sole complaint about Doctor Tampa is the old-looking web design. I understand that Doctor Tampa is a busy man, but if he can find the time, he should give the place an update.

Don't let the Doctor's efforts go to waste. Head over now and drain your nuts to a bitch getting a pair of forceps shoved in her pussy today.